Welcome To Miami

Do I need an excuse to post this video? No, but I actually have one. Antrel Rolle, the man who inspired this blogger's namesake, has been selected to the pro bowl. I feel it is my journalistic duty (yes, thats a massive liberty/leap) to travel to Miami and witness live this truly monumental event. Problem is I hate Florida. Its not my illogical hatred of peninsulas, its the grass. Itchy itchy grass.

The Hits Keep Coming

I know what you're thinking. Something like this right? "Trelian, what's a hip, cool, jive talkin cat like yourself doing home on a saturday night drinking alone and blogging about the Cardinals?" Well, besides revealing way too much pathetic information necessary to start this post, my response is thus- he/she who has not stayed home on a saturday night drunk and blogging about the Cardinals shall cast the first stone.

/dodges onslaught of stones from each and every reader of this blog.

Ok, clearly that was not the best initial response on my part. How bout a simple "fuck you, don't judge me, you're the one reading this blog anyways. Jokes on you!" Yup, I think thats what were going to go with. So with that out of the way, what say we move past that egregious intro and move into some actual Cardinals news.

On the heals of the Bertrand Berry retirement, the Cards lost another member of last years NFC West Championship team. Today news broke that Cardinals running backs coach, Curtis Modkins, has been hired to be the offensive coordinator for the Buffalo Bills. I got nothing here to be honest. This past year was Modkins one and only with the team and he didn't exactly make enough of an impact for me to talk about much here. When things are going well, and I consider a 10-6 record and first round playoff win a positive, you want continuity amongst your coaching staff but I don't think anyone is going to be lamenting the loss of Modkins. It took rookie running back Beanie Wells 14 weeks to learn how to pass block. Tim Hightower had a fumbling problem all season. To blame all of this on Modkins would be unfair, but fuck it he's leaving, so lets blame him. Wells is going to be a major player in next years team, so lets hope they are able to find a new rb coach who can help him reach his potential.

I just want to go on the record for a minute. Wait, by publishing this one the internet I am accomplishing that and there is no need to announce it. Yup. Ok lets forge ahead past that. I think Kurt is coming back. We linked earlier to his comments in a Rick Reilly article. At first these worried us, but since then we have re-read it a few more times and have a totally new spin on the subject. I'm going to withhold most of the analysis until he actually makes a decision, but I just want to go on the record and state that I believe Warner will be QBing the Cards to another division title next year.

/pours another drink and smokes a cigarette with cocky/semi-coy smile.

//turns on "Jersey Shore" reunion show.

///comes to grips with realty of everything that took place this past hour and slits wrists.

See you'll on the other side...

Signing Off

With stories circulating for a few weeks now, it is no surprise that the Cardinals first major off-season news is the retirement of a player. Just not the player we thought it would be. Bertrand Berry has decided to hang up the spikes. From a semi-personal standpoint, this saddens me. B-train was a fan favorite. His post sack celebration was perfection. Self-promoting without crossing the line to egotistical. Berry also was the host of the Cardinals weekly player-driven radio show, The Big Red Rage, a role Berry thrived in.

To interject a personal/sentimental story for a minute: Last year, on the eve of the Cardinals Super Bowl trip Berry hosted what would be the final "rage" of the season. His guest was Adrian Wilson. A-dub gives more meaning to the phrase "speak softly and carry a big stick" than ol' Teddy Roosevelt ever could. Listening to the two of them, Berry at the time an 11 year veteran and Wilson a life long Cardinal who had previously never even sniffed the playoffs, much less the Super Bowl, marvel at what they were about to go play for was the moment when it finally set in for me as a fan. I'd like to say "I'll never forget that moment" but the truth is whiskey/gin has made me forget a lot of things (and unfortunately say a few as well) so instead I'll say "I hope never to forget that moment."

Moving on from the personal and onto the professional- so to speak. The Cards already were in desperate need to upgrade their OLB spot. This only accentuates that. Whether through free agency, the draft, or a combo of both, upgrading the OLB spot is now firmly entrenched as the Cards #1 off season priority.

Couple notes before we bounce-

• Kent Somers outlined the WR position today and focused mainly on the Anquan Boldin saga. We here at Wadsworth have previously given a few thoughts on the Q situation, and will most certainly provide a much more comprehensive analysis on the issue in due time. Keep your eyes peeled for that.
• This one is for our favorite commenter-Reed. We recently went a little hard after Reed and his affection for LOST which was completely unfair. While your recent comments make me wonder if a few Matthew Fox pictures were the best way to regain your affection we simply couldn't do it as he was in that one movie with Matthew McConaughey and that movie fucking sucked, bad. So hopefully this will get us back in your good graces.

Links

I don't have a picture/video to use as a lead in on this. Hell as of current typing I don't even have a title. I'm just gunna throw down a few links with a bit of commentary on each. The leg work of actually reading the articles is on you. Ideally you'll form your own opinions, but if you're not so inclined, mine can certainly be your default.

• I fucking hate Rick Reilly. On top of being an awful journalist he is an asshole to boot. Thats right Rick, I know your secret. I know your infatuation for Rocky Mountain meteorologists. So when Rick wrote this piece, declaring Kurt Warner all but retired, I decided to hate him even more. I believe the psychological term for that is "transference" where I take all my anger/sadness/frustration with Kurt walking away a year too soon and put it all on Reilly. Whatever, fuck Reilly and fuck Freud, both are outdated self-severing assholes.
• Kent Somers wrote today about the state of the Cards Oline. Apparently the organization is far more optimistic about this group than any single fan is (including this mildly informed/obsessed one). I'm fairly puzzled by this one.
• This is Mel Kiper's first first-round mock draft. He has the Cards selecting Dan Williams, a nose tackle out of Tenn. While i do believe this would be a good pick for the Birds, he has OT Bruce Campbell going one pick later. With my lack of faith in the Cards Oline moving forward, it would be hard for me to endorse taking a NT with a quality offensive tackle still on the board. That said, defense should dominate the Cards draft plans so we'll see how this one continues to play out.
• Lastly, a little something out of the local college ranks for our Wildcat alums. Sonny Dykes, UAs impressive offensive coordinator is leaving. With defensive coordinator Mark Stoops already having left for greener pastures (get it, cause Tucson is ugly) the Wildcat's are left solely in the hands of this man. Bear down?

In Memoriam

And just like that, it was over. I should be more upset than I am, but the truth is I'm pretty ok with how this season turned out. Lets just for a moment take a step back from this season ending loss and reflect.

• For the first time since moving to the valley of the sun, our beloved birds won double digit games.
• The Cards also hosted-and won- one of the greatest playoff games in the history of the NFL.
• At the individual level, the emergence and success of younger players such as Calais Campbell, Early Doucet, and Beanie Wells giving credence to the Cardinals recent draft classes, as well as continued hope for the future.
• And then contrastingly there is the old man himself, Kurt Warner. Kurt's performance against the Packers in the wild card round was nothing shy of historic. That game should no doubt be considered the icing on Kurt's hall of fame credentials.

That isn't to say I'm not bummed. Of course I am, and you should be too. Playoff runs have not exactly been commonplace for the Cardinals, and with the possibility of Kurt retiring, there is a level of uncertainty as to when the next one will be. I'm just trying to view this season with a bit of perspective, a perspective that many of you didn't believe I had. People were treating me as though I had just suffered a loss to my family. My favorite illustration of this was a text I received right as the game was ending. "Our thoughts are with you" it read. It's difficult to put into words what this text did to me. Stuck in a state of sadness and inebriation, that text snapped me out of my trance. Instead all I could do was smile, smile and laugh. Since that text I really have spent the majority of my reflection time focused on the positives. So to the Wadsworthian who with one swift text talked me off the ledge and brought me back to the light, you know who you are, and I thank you.

Now, just to be clear, I said I spent the majority of my time reflecting on the positive. Since I devote way too much time during my day thinking about the Cards, even a minority amount of reflection provides me ample hours to single out individuals of which I wish to kill in unusual ways. Lets quickly run through a few names, in no particular order.

• Bryant Mcfadden: We shall smother you with honey and set a colony of ants upon you. Then maybe you will learn what it means to cover.
• Jerheme Urban: I believe it is AIDS for you. The lesson here, sometimes when you catch something, you can't lose or give it away.
• Levi Brown: Seriously, I'm on my hands and knees here, please just get good. No jokes, no murder fantasy, please just get good.

So how was that for a Saints-Cards post game wrap up? Double the murder fantasy to any actual football analysis. Oops. The truth is, the better team won. The Saints were healthier, better prepared and most certainly executed better and that was the difference. A few more thoughts before we sign off for a bit.

• To those of you who actually read this blog, whether for actual Cardinals information or simply as a favor to me- thank you. Its been fun for me, hope its fun for you. Obviously the off season will be a little light on posting, heck we might even expand outside the Cards realm a bit, but we'll still be here. This should be a very exciting/interesting off season for Cards fans and the NFL in general and we'll be here with any and all important news. So stick around and keep checking in on us, we'll make it worth your while.
• The Combine is just over a month away. We will definitely be keeping a close eye on the combine so keep a close eye on us.
• The Cards hold the 26th pick in the draft. The draft, as previously mentioned, is my jam. I promise you will want to hang around these parts come draft time.
• DRC didn't tear his ACL. This is of course huge news.
• Compliments to commenter Reed. Spits hot fire like Dylan.
• Lastly, stay tuned for our LOST preview. Wait a second, that doesn't sound right, I don't watch LOST. Fuck that, stick around for some quality Cards off season chatter as well as a few curve balls here and there. Until then, head over to the hottest blog around. Straight outta L.A. WineandBowties.com.

Be well all.

Equal Opportunity Hate

Last week I linked to a Kissing Suzy Kolber article about the Cardinals as part of their "Haters guide to the post season" series. Today, the tables of hate have turned towards the Saints, this weeks opponent.

While this article lacks the brilliance of lines such as "Get fucked and die lonely", it does provide a fair amount of Katrina based destruction. Enjoy.

A Tale of the Tape- Saints v. Cards

[Ed note: Much of this post was published last night 1/14, but we here at Wadsworth felt it was lacking in both analysis/insight and Katrina based humor therefore we have gone back and made some additions and edits.]

Alright, lets do it. Lets do some spade calling. I completely and utterly dropped the ball on any and all Cards-Packers post game blogging. I know that was not pleasing to a clamoring fan base, but honestly, what the hell was I supposed to say about that game? You all saw it! I've had to watch the highlight package about 300 times just to remember actual plays. All I remember was a series of non life-threatening heart attacks (luckily), way too many high-fives without any hand sanitizer in sight (not as lucky), and an emotional state bouncing between joy, confusion, heartache, and then back to confusion. So with that pseudo apology behind us, lets look at the tale of the tape. Saints v. Cardinals, but arguably as important, New Orleans v. Arizona.

• In one corner we have rap sensation Lil Wayne. In the other Phoenix's own Willy Northpole.
• Broken levees vs. beatable Levi
• Displaced black people vs. displaced native americans.
• 9th ward vs. natural wonder of the world.
• Gumbo vs... indian fry bread???

Ok, the last one was a stretch and the first one isn't really a debate, but 3 out of 5 isn't too bad. Well, upon second thought, Levi and the levees might be a draw. So with AZ vs N.O coming in at an evenly matched 2-2-1 lets move past this exercise in futility and onto the game breakdown.

The Saints, much like the Packers last week, boast an incredible arial attack. Drew Brees was the MVP runner-up while leading his team to an NFL high in points scored. Stopping him is not realistic. Slowing him down will be difficult, but it is possible. Despite giving up 45 points last week, the Cards defense does possess the necessary tools to slow down the Saints high powered attack. Heres how...

All the usual suspects will have to play big. Dock has to play up to his dominating potential. Calais Campbell will have a much bigger role as he continues to come back from his thumb injury. With pressuring Brees being such an important key to the game, CC's return to action is both vital and encouraging. A-dub will be asked to play a very complete game. A-dub will need to provide an edge rush in the blitzing game, while also keeping a watchful eye on the middle of the field with guys like Reggie Bush and Jeremy Shockey looking to exploit that area. Jeremy Shockey worries me. When he's not passing out poolside, Shockey is as dangerous a TE as there is in the league. A player as big, fast, and talented as Shockey would scare any defense, but he is especially troublesome for the Cardinals who up to this point have still never actually guarded a TE. The other major defensive concern (aside from the whole Drew Brees being insanely good thing) is the Saints screen game. The Saints this season have been a tremendous screen team. Reggie Bush, while awful in almost every other facet of the game, is very dangerous in the open field. The Cards are not a team who defends the screen well. Cardinal defenders are often overaggressive and easily baited out of their lanes which opens up a lot of room for the screen game. Look for this early and often from the Saints, especially if the Cards pass rush is proving effective. Thats all fine and good, but it won't be the defensive stars who determine this game. The key to slowing down the Saints offense lie in the collective hands of the three men who play OLB for the birds. Clark Haggans, Chike Okeafor, and most importantly (as I see it) Bertrand Berry will be the difference makers for the Cards. Bert already got off to a hot start racking up 2 sacks against the Packers. While he is a definite liability in the run game, Berry still possesses the quickness to wreck havoc in the passing game. Look for Berry to double his playoff sack total with Haggans and Okeafor grabbing 1 each themselves.

Offensively, the game plan is the same week in and week out. No changes here. First and foremost, protect Kurt allowing him to get the ball to the playmakers. Next, minimize penalties. These both can be difficult when playing on the road, especially at a place as wild and loud as the Superdome. This factor cannot be overlooked. The Superdome, and its fans must be considered the x-factor for the Saints. Crowd noise can have an incredible impact on every aspect of the game. False start penalties, an inability to audible, and protection breakdowns are all things to keep an eye on. Ideally speaking, the Cards will jump out to a big lead and take the crowd out of it. Obviously, with that being easier said than done, the solution to the crowd problem might be the Cards x-factor. Feed the fucking Bean! The Saints run defense is suspect at best. As long as they don't fall far behind early, they should be able to control the clock and the flow with the run game.

A few more notes before prediction time.

• Despite his optimism, it looks like Q is going to miss his second straight game. Early and Steve proved they can step up in the big game. I am a bit concerned about Doucet early on (no pun intended, i swear). Early is from Louisiana and is going to have a lot of family at the game. As if a playoff game wasn't enough reason for jitters, playing in front of 50ish family members will most certainly add to that.
• Gerald Hayes too looks like he will be out for tomorrows affair. Monte Beisel is a capable replacement. Not quite as physically imposing, but a smart player who generally finds himself around the ball.
• Neil Rackers is saying all the right things. It is quite conceivable the game (again) could come down to a Rackers field goal. Lets all hope he can respond to a disaster better than FEMA. BOOM, SMOKED! Yup, thats the terrible joke this entire blog has been setting up. And with that, its Prediction time..

Gotta ride the hot hand hometown heros (heck ya alliteration). Cards continue on with a final score 38-31.

Rinds, Signs, and Trying Times

Right now you, faithful Wadsworthians (trying that one on for size), are likely asking yourselves two questions. 1) Why the Brian Dawkins video clip and 2) is that title inspired/borrowed from a Jonas Brothers album? The answer to the first question can be answered with another question. Did you watch the video? Aside from its message-there is no guarantee of tomorrow in playoff football- being totally applicable to todays Cards game, that shit got me fired up! The answer to the second question is yes, I found inspiration from a Disney created pop brothers trio. As always though, there is a method to my madness, or if I may take the liberty, a method to my logic. On to the breakdown.

Alright, lets just hit this up in order. How many of you picked up on the rinds/cheese/packers connection? I'll pat myself on the back for that one later. For now when looking across the field at todays opponent, I don't like what I see. The Packers are skilled, smart, and playing about as well as anyone else in the league. With all the league hullabaloo focused on the Colts and Saints bid for a perfect season, the Packers hot finish seemed to slip through the cracks. The Pack won 7 of their last 8 with their only loss coming off a last second TD against the Steelers. I already linked that video once before in a previous post so feel free to scroll down and watch that, but I can't put myself through those flashbacks again. You might be stronger souls than I so watch at your own risk, but I cant do it.

Signs: Sometimes, despite almost all signs pointing in one direction, the outcome is exactly the opposite. This is most certainly true in our everyday lives and as Cards fans we better hope it holds true today. All signs point to a Packers win. As previously mentioned, they're playing exceptional football. They've dominated the two previous-albeit meaningless- contests this season and most importantly, they matchup extremely well against our beloved birds. Their strength on offense is their exceptional passing game. Our defensive weakness is our pass coverage. They have an exceptional CB in Charles Woodson who can matchup with Fitz, and boast an impressive pass rush to go against our shaky offensive line. Sounds as if I'm preparing you all for some "trying times" doesn't it? Not so fast. Lets take a look at how the Cardinals are going to get a big win today.

Ok so ya, I copped out on the "trying times" part of this title analogy thing that we had going here. We'll try and work it back in again but for now remove those judgmental eyes off me and lets illustrate a Cardinals win. For much of the first half of the season, the Packers greatly struggled with their pass protection. While they were able to straighten this out during their hot streak, the Cards must find a way to get pressure on Aaron Rodgers. More specifically they must find a way to do this when not blitzing. Darnell Dockett might be the most important player in todays game. If Dock can put forth a Super Bowl type performance, the Cards can drop more players in coverage closing down some of Rodgers throwing windows. Also, to quote another member of the Wadsworth brains trust "I want A-dub coming off that blindside so hard not even Sandra Bullock can stop him." As simple as it sounds, thats it. Effective defensive pressure will be the key to this game. On the offensive side it all starts up front. When the line protects Kurt and gives him time, he makes the defense pay. It is vital to get him in rhythm early. Once Kurt gets going, the offensive possibilities are endless (you have to scroll down a bit). Also a quick mention of the special teams. Mason Crosby, the Packers kicker, has struggled this season. Cardinals special teams have been nearly flawless all year. It is absolutely essential that the Cards win the special teams battle, both field goals and field position.

A few more notes: First, it doesn't appear Q is going to be able to play. No official word yet, but he didn't practice at all this week. That hurts but this team has won without Q in the past, including a playoff game last year, and thats just what they will have to do today. Lastly, its prediction time. I said before and I'll say it again. Sometimes all signs point one way but the outcome turns out another. Thats why today's result will prove to be "trying times" for Packers fans (weak, i know). Finals score 34-31 Cards. See you in New Orleans.

Lastly, a little bit of Trelian Logic to close this out...

KSKilled

The gentlemen over at Kissing Suzy Kolber have been running a preview of sorts for every playoff team in preparation for wild card weekend. Today's target was our beloved Arizona Cardinals. Maybe Will Leitch and I can team up and write the rebuttal.

Seriously though, is there anything more awesomely hateful then telling someone to "Get fucked and die lonely." The KSK piece truly is a must read.

Mean and Vicious- "dontcha know" edition

To best illustrate this venomous post my original intention was to find a picture of an overweight packers fan. I mean how hard can that be. The Packers reside in Wisconsin, people from Wisconsin are fat, ergo packers fans are fat. When I googled "fat packers fans" I came across this video (as well as countless pics of fat packers fans for the record). I don't know how to feel after watching this video. My initial reaction was to take the high road and call these kids immature and somehow spin that into packer hating. Then I started laughing. Then I watched the video about 10 more times and laughed each time. So now I find myself sadly seated on the same intellectual plane as packers fans. Not exactly my original intent. That said, at least Im not fat so suck on that deep fried cheese ball packers fans. Ed note: for reasons only very few will understand, I will refrain from degrading miller light beer.

Sunday's Cards-Packers rematch marks the 3rd time this season these two teams will play with both previous meetings (one preseason, one regular season) going the Packers way. Full disclosure, I was out of town for the new year holiday and did not see any of last weeks game. I do know however the cards walked away with some serious injury concerns and *potentially* the perfect motivational tool. More on the injuries in a bit but lets talk motivation for a minute. While I personally believe the "nobody believes/respects us" card is both overused and idiotic, it somehow seems to inspire these athletes and the Cards are no exception. They hopped on the "us against the world" train and road it all the way to through the playoffs last year. It most certainly does not guarantee a victory, but its quite conceivable the Cards will use this same source of motivation allowing them to put forth their best effort.

The injury concern is very real and very, well, concerning. By all accounts DRC is going to play. It is however hard to imagine he will be at 100%. With the Packers boasting an impressive arial attack, DRC's health and ability to shut down one side of the field is vital the the birds success on sunday. The status for both Quan and Calais are far more uncertain. ESPN is reporting Q is unlikely to play. Our inside sources say just the opposite (note, we here at wadsworth most certainly do not have inside sources, what we do have is opinion, take it or leave it). Seriously though, we're talking about Anquan Boldin. I fully acknowledge that was not exactly the greatest analysis but I just refuse believe Q is sitting out of a playoff game until I see it. Lastly Calais Campbell and his fractured thumb. Calais already had surgery on it, and is hopeful he can play with a cast. I too am confident Campbell will play and it is important that he does. With the aforementioned Packer passing attack, blitzing is difficult to do. That means generating pressure from your front 4 is that much more important and Calais is one of the best pass rushers on the team. It will be interesting too see how a cast will effect CC's ability to get off blocks when rushing the passer and tackling ball carriers.

Later this week we will give our more in depth game preview with our keys to the game and prediction of the outcome. Much of that will be determined by the three injuries mentioned above. A few quick overdue notes to close this out.

-A belated congratulations to Adrian Wilson on joining the 20-20 club.

- To quote a fellow NFL blogger, "Fuck and Yes" to the Cards winning double digits this season.

- Lastly, a belated Happy New Year to everyone in the Wadsworth community.

and to you fat packer fans, good luck sunday, but please stay away from Glendale.