Ladies and Gentlemen (Reed and Dustin respectively-common this is my last go, you know I'm taking one final shot!) today is a sad day for me. Today officially marks the end of two eras, both with very little fanfare and even less success. Today, Derek Anderson became the starting Quarterback for the Arizona Cardinals, effectively ending Matt Leinart's career with the Cards. He was a gift from heaven, both Denny and I thought. I believed in him when others wouldn't but simply put he never justified that belief. In the end, he is who...oh fuck no Im not about to drop that quote. Anyway, Ice's career with the Cards is for all intent and purpose, over. He doubtfully will get cut (though the possibility exists). Instead he will serve as backup for one more year and then be cut before the start of 2011. Goodbye Matt, may all your dreams die with mine.
Lets call a spade, FWIW died many moons a go. We haven't posted since March and even then it was just to do it. This just makes it a bit more fitting. To those of you who will read this final post, thanks for dropping by, it honestly meant a lot to me. Maybe Ill find my way back on the web in another form, but this one never more. So here it is, my goodbye. The End's Not Near, It's here (there's the O.C reference I promised).
Friday, March 26, 2010
It's been exactly one month, and despite the lack of Alien warfare "I'm Baaaaack!!!" There is so much to love about ID4 so lets run through a quick list.
Will Smith's greeting to the Alien, "Welcome to Earff." I believe this was taken straight from any/all road signs indicating ones exit from New Mexico.
The Will Smith and Vivica A. Fox kiss that won an MTV Movie Award for exactly that in 1997.
Bill Pullman's speech. You all know the one I'm talking about. I still get chills when I hear it. My buddy Army knows the speech verbatim and dare I say, delivers it better than Pullman. Im gettin all sorts of geeked up just thinking about it right now.
So in honor of our ID4 theme, lets kick the tires and light the fires...
I was talking to Dustin today and mentioned to him that I was formulating a bit of a blog post in my head. He responded by saying "Heard that before, if only your readers could read your mind. You seem to post there everyday." It's true, I have written dozens of posts over the last month that end up getting deleted for one reason or another and that leaves us with this absurdly sporadic posting schedule. I had an entire post centered around Kid Cudi's "The Sky Might Fall" in relation to the 6 hour span in which the Cardinals seemingly lost half of their starters. Furthermore, I have written my farewell post about 100 times in my head and managed to get about 3 words on paper. I have had that post more or less written since about the 2nd week I started blogging. Its less about wanting to quit and more about wanting to see if it comes together as well on paper as it does in my head. It's very doubtful that it ever will, but here's a little teaser to keep everyone intrigued, Tate Donovan makes a guest appearance. I truly don't know who actually reads this blog, but if you do and want to take a guess at what the title will be (keeping Tate in mind), take a stab in the comment section and I don't know, you'll win some sort of prize. Yes that is my last-stitched, desperation attempt to make this a little more interactive.
A bit more musings and then you know we'll do our little bullshit Cards bullet point section at the end.
I'm irrationally excited for the month of April. I'm taking the metaphorical "turning of the page" very literally with this changing month, and frankly, I need it. I'm viewing it as a detox of sorts (not the kind where you dont drink or do drugs, that'd be crazy. It also hopefully won't be delayed 7 years like Dre's). I have something to look forward to for each of April's weekends. Ill spend the first one in LA with Reed. Now, every so often, we have taken advantage of Reed's generosity by questioning his sexuality and sanity (the Michelle Rodriguez thing), but that's only cause we have nothing but love for him. Rest assured ladies, Reed is very, very much sane. Anyway I'm honored to be able to go out to LA and see Reed rock his craft and I've never needed a beach more. Lately I've been listening to Cassadaga a lot, and so much of that album revolves around getting away to regain a clear mind and some semblance of balance. No pressure Reed, but this is exactly what I'm hoping to find. The following weekend will be spent in AZ, but hopefully with one of my blogging influences. Big Daddy Drew of KSK and Deadspin fame will be coming to AZ that weekend and after a bit of emailing, there is a decent chance I'll get to meet up with him. Last time I tried to meet another blogging idol it fell through, but later that day the Cardinals won the NFC Championship. That was a perfectly acceptable consolation prize but this time around I'd actually like "Plan A" to work out. The following weekend will be spent in our Nation's Capital with my sister. I love DC. I fully plan on going to the Library of Congress wearing a Nationals hat and listening to Wale. This brings us to the all important 4th weekend of April which brings us the draft. The draft is less than one month away and to steal a page out of Drew's book, Fuck and Yes. Golly Moses I love the draft. Have any of you ever known a person who says "Golly Moses"? When the Cards used to play at Sun Devil (the glory years if you will) the gentlemen who had season tickets next to mine was quite fond of that phrase. Considering that we're talking about the Cardinals during the SDS age, one can imagine him how often the phrase was said/screamed/muttered in disappointment. It made me laugh every time. Often, those games were so awful that the highlight of going was hearing him say that and watching the people in front of me rock out to "Welcome to the Jungle." With memories like that, why wouldn't you wan to go 4-12 every year? So that's my April in a nutshell. Lets do some birds bullets.
I'm glossing over just about every off-season move except one. The cards signed Joey Porter. This is incredible on so many levels, the least of which takes place on the field. Recently I got to see my buddy Tarny and made a promise to him I would buy a Porter jersey, cut it in half, and go early to the first game of the season so i can mirror him doing this. I will keep my promise to Tarny regardless, but if I can somehow get a six-pack by September I'll even post photographic evidence.
Actually, that's it. We'll be back around draft time, but hopefully a little sooner. To those of you who have, thanks for sticking with us and please, take a stab at the guessing game in the comment section. I promise the prize won't be something retarded, you know, like my respect or some shit.
Why an Elton John video from 1976? Really it's quite simple (actually its retarded and convoluted, but whose counting). I chose Rocket man for two reasons: 1) Every year at the Combine(which officially started yesterday, more accurately starts this weekend) several NFL prospects will make an incredibly irrational leap up peoples mock drafts and (more importantly) team's draft ratings simply because they are incredibly athletic and run fast "40" times. Their draft stock skyrockets. Reason number 2 is the Combine represents one of the most homoerotic activities/events in all of professional sports. You think a little "atta boy" slap on the ass is kinda gay? Wait till you see 300 pound black men running, jumping, and lifting weights all while wearing the tightest fitting clothes possible. I mean seriously tight fitting clothes. I love it though, I absolutely do. So thats why we have Elton up top, because really is there a more appropriate poster-child for homosexuality? Actually, there is (despite my build up towards Elton being the quintessential), I just don't have any pics/videos of Reed. So now one paragraph into my return from blogging abyss I have successfully offended gays, the mentally challenged, and one of 3 actual readers of this blog. Don't worry if you're feeling left out, I'm still planning on degrading fat people, and if we're lucky I'll stumble upon a good jewish or asian joke as this thing comes together.
Some (none) of you are maybe wondering what caused said disappearing act. Well I'll save the bulk of my reasons for another time, but for now I will say this. I do a lot of writing during the day so coming home and writing at night is not always the first thing I want to do. So with that ringing endorsement, please keep checking back periodically. I'm going to try hard to keep this thing going, and despite its seemingly counterintuitive nature, I'll be sure to pen a farewell post that way you know when we've hit our end.
Anyway, back to football and offensive language. After that debbie downer of a paragraph above, lets laugh at fat people and feel better about ourselves. This is a video of Andre Smith running the 40 yard dash. You'll need to fast forward to the 40 second mark, and make sure not to be drinking anything while watching. Nobody wants to ruin their computer by spitting water all over the screen while watching that guy jiggle his way toward the finish line. HAHA fatty! While the "40" is the most hyped event (and in this case, the most humorous) it's the other events that draw me to the combine. Bench pressing with John Lott, yes please! The 3-cone drill allows me to put my "scout hat" on and act like an asshole. "Did you see the way he sunk his hips? He'll never be able to turn and run with premiere TEs." Then of course, there is the most overlooked aspect of the Combine. The Rumor Mill. Aaah yes, the rumor mill. The combine brings in GMs and coaches for all 32 NFL teams plus everyones agents and does so right on the cusp of free agency. This naturally produces an incredible amount of misinformation and I am a sucker for it. "The Patriots are targeting Lebron James to replace Tom Brady? Holly faackin shit yeah!" So with that in mind, lets take a look at a few rumors circulating the web regarding our beloved birds.
The Bears are interested in Antrel Rolle. Mother-Fuck-That. I hate the Bears. Soldier field is disgusting, Lovie Smith is retarded, and Jay Cutler is gay. C'mon, we already used both those terms in a derogatory way earlier, now were just playing with house money. I don't wanna lose Trel, but if that happens it better not be a team like the Bears.
The Dolphins are planning on making a very significant run at Karlos Dansby. Another team I hate. Right around 7/8th grade my older cousin Dean came to live with my family. He eventually became very sick. Before visiting him at the hospital one day, I bought him a Miami Dolphins hat(his favorite team) as a get well soon gift. One night when I got home, I saw that Dolphins hat sitting on the kitchen table. I knew at that very moment that Dean had died. In summation, it was Ace Ventura who was responsible for Dean's death, therefore fuck the Dolphins and fuck Florida.
Lastly, yesterday it was announced that both Whiz and Rod Graves received contract extensions. Whiz is now amongst the highest paid coaches in the league and Rod Graves still drives an 06' Land Cruiser so its really a win-win.
Ok, I'm dipping back into the well to a degree for this post. Recently, brilliantly named Jason Wright this Marcell Shipp, took on the unenviable task and essentially re-watched Super Bowl XLIII and lived to provide us all with a fantastic first hand account. It was my original plan to do the same. I figured it'd be kind of interesting to watch it again removed from last year's craziness. Couldn't pull the trigger. I still have no idea how he did it. Heres why though. Its not as if I can't talk about the Cardinals super bowl loss or come to come to grips with it or even to a degree reflect on it-far from that in fact. Its that I don't remember it really. The game that is. I remember a lot about that day, oddly specific details in fact, just very little about the game. The excitement before, the spectrum during the game, and then of course the feeling afterwards. Thats what I remember, that and a handful of plays. My point is this, because so much of the game would be newish, I think it'd be too much like watching the game live. Touchdowns and turnovers would be unexpected and exciting and eventually not enjoyable to see through to its conclusion. Just couldn't do it.
Bunch of stuff I don't understand. It's a LOST recap!!!
Tonight marks the season 4 finale of Friday Night Lights. As previously promised, I will be writing my thoughts on the season. Since the show airs on DirectTV, I have to download it and watch it at another time, therefore we'll loosely peg friday as our expected FNL blog post date. To my knowledge Dustin is the only other FNL watcher who also stomps the Wadsworth yard, so I guess that means the rest of you can have a short hiatus from this here blog.
Lastly, the title comes straight from a Taking Back Sunday song. Too bad Pat doesn't read this blog, he'd give me the praise and affection I so badly crave.
Oh shit, there is actual Cards news. Let me squeeze that in.
Anquan Boldin trade talk has begun, again. We've previously given some thoughts on the Q trade subject and will most certainly provide more when there is actual news to report. For now its fan driven speculation which always turns out to be absurd.
Cards DBs coach, Teryl Austin, is interviewing for a college coordinator job. It could be argued that much of the Cards secondary woes are directly related to the lack of pass rush, but the truth is the secondary has many issues that extend beyond that. There is a lot of like about Austin. This year 3 of his 4 starters made the pro bowl. Furthermore, Coach Whiz loves him and "In Whiz We Trust." Then again, the Cards secondary kind of sucked and Bryant McFadden is still alive, so maybe Austin isn't doing that great of a job. We're on the fence with this one so we'll just toe the company line and back Whiz.
Russ Grimm finally made it into the Hall of Fame. When Antrel Rolle inevitably leaves in free agency later this off season, we are strongly considering "AGrimmOutlook" as our new pseudonym. That or you know, not have a cardinal-related pseudonym.
Settling in for some nachos and coke zero late last night I fired up HULU to catch Thursday’s 30 Rock. This was the worst decision I have made in my young life. “SUPERBOWL XLIII HIGHLIGHTS” the front page screamed. Fuck me. I’ll never know why but I clicked the link, watched the shitty Toyota advertisement, and let the sad times roll. I hadn’t allowed myself to watch a replay since that fateful day in February, unless you count Madden’s egregious welcome screen this year. That restraint finds painful justification now in hindsight.Aside from some outstanding narration by Jeff Goldblum, inside shots of Coach Whiz speaking to the boys, and a rather strong right cross of nostalgia from Antonio Smith the experience was utter decimation.
A 23-minute replay had effectively brought me back in time one year. The sickness, lying dormant somewhere near my pancreas for the last 12 months, returned with violent effect (full disclose: could’ve been the nachos). It wasn’t just Santonio Holmes reaping the rewards of his deal with the devil, or even Aaron Francisco thinking he was a sumo wrestler for a play. IT WAS MOTHERFUCKING ANTREL ROLLE STANDING ILLEGAALY ON THE SIDELINE BLOCKING FITZ FROM TACKLING FUCKKNG JAMES HARRISON!!!!!!! (sorry Gould). Actually Sorry Trel, I love you, you know that, I didn’t mean it.
Today brings the next Superbowl, and maybe, hopefully, some closure. Though, it is now, as mock drafts spring up across the country, and my roommate busies himself in the kitchen preparing his mother’s famous shrimp dip that I find myself not so much relieved, but thoroughly confused. We are repeat division champs; apparently that means two in a row. Never before have I been in a situation like this, it’s entirely overwhelming. Can I ever be happy again with just making the playoffs? Has the proverbial bar really been raised beyond my capacity for enjoyment? I don’t know the answers to these questions. Sometimes, late at night, alone, I secretly dream that we were all back in Sun Devil Stadium scalding our hamstrings on volcanic metal bleachers and trying to perfect throwing beer cups onto cowboys fans below. It was all so simple back then.
Like the great bird that lends its name to our capital city we must rise out of the ashes of a depleted defensive backfield, a still sub-par offensive line, and an essentially rookie quarterback. Fuck me again. It’s not that I don’t believe in Matt, I do, I always have, it’s just that I don’t know if he’s ready to achieve what we demand of him.And fuck me for making a hackneyed allusion to a Phoenix rising out of the ashes.
Originally I was going to write a very quick post about all non-Cardinal related topics. Right before I sat down to write it, I stumbled upon this little nugget of news and now I can file this little message under the Cards umbrella.
Starting late this week/early next week, we here at Wadsworth, will have contributions from some new sources. This is very exciting news. Aside from the immediate grammatical improvements, expect some quality Cards analysis (something this Cards blog has been sorely missing), another brilliant pseudonym, and most likely fewer Disney-based themes.
Speaking of outside contributions, lets quickly talk about the picture above. First allow me to say, I can't take credit for that brilliant photoshop work, but I can explain it. Ciron Black, an offensive linemen out of LSU has been a continual joke between myself and another Cards fan. He is big, slow, lumbering, and overhyped- essentially he is the perfect Cardinal O-line draftee. About 2 weeks ago, I found the above picture in my inbox. Many of you already know that Harry Potter narrowly trails Cardinals Football on my list of obsessions and this picture perfectly combines them. Come April 22nd, I will whole-heartedly be pulling for the Cards to draft Ciron. If this comes to fruition, expect many incarnations of the following jokes:
I'm ready to see them "unleash" Ciron, or should I say Padfoot.
He's really "dogging" it out there.
I bet Ciron Black is really "itching" to get on the field (dog/flees joke).
Sometimes I don't even notice him. Its as if he just disappeared...through a veiled archway to the other side.
I will personally see to it that there is a league-wide mandate that after he gives up a sack, the opposing defender must skip around him saying "I killed Ciron Black, I killed Ciron Black!!"
That is all for now. Feel free to try your hand at them in the comment section. Speaking of non-Cardinal related obsessions...
For many of you, Tuesday's return of LOST was this weeks epic TV event. For me though, it was Wednesday night's Friday Night Lights episode, which I was able to watch last night. Holly shiiiiiiit!!! Following next weeks season 4 finale, I am going to dedicate a post to FNL and a season 4 recap/review. Bellow, courtesy of WPM, you will find what can essentially be considered my season 3 finale response. Next time,I will try to minimize the hyperbole, but I make no promises.
I'm lost in the fnl world right now.
What am i supposed to do, just forget dillon and start rootin for the east dillon lions? I have so much panther pride but im hurt right now. I mean I'll follow eric taylor into the dark and if he is going to resurrect east dillon ill do it right there with him but im lost in that world. Am i going to feel happiness and pride when east dillon fucks up jd/wade next year? Is it going to be bitter sweet like watching o-dog go deep against the backs a few games ago?
What would Smash say about this? Nobody loved the panthers more, i mean sure he was incredibly infatuated with himself, but he did turn down voodoo and arnette meads request to cross lines, he was truly panthers forever. Will east dillon have clear eyes and full hearts cause if so i know how they will fair...
Riggins, I kinda love the idea of him going to college and actually making something of himself but i couldnt bear him not being on the show.
Matty ice, i mean who in their right mind leaves julie taylor??? Not for all the art and deep dish pizza's in the entire world. Good move ice, good move.
Tyra, At this point im completely over her character, Ill miss landry a lot, he was a brilliant actor, but tyra glad you got into UT, now get the fuck out. On a slightly unrelated but quite related note, she looked amazing in the finale. If thats her swan song, it was a good one.
First confession: I had never actually listened to this song(s) in entirety. I just thought of the concept and how i could shape it into this blog post and thought it might be fun. So as I typically do (read: lack of creativity), I went to youtube and found a corresponding video. In the name of knowledge I ended up watching the whole video, 5 straight minutes of Ursh. You know what, this song is fucking awesome. Its so matter of fact and I love that. Well done, lets see if we can make you relevant again.
Second: I was done with this blog. I had my reasons, I promise, and I also felt that the whole "Trel going to the pro bowl" was a prefect exit. Normally a Super Bowl is the end goal, but for this blogger, Antrel Rolle going to the pro bowl and having that(most likely) be the last game he plays in a Cards helmet is my definition of walking out on-top. Anyways, couple things to talk about.
Third: Really thought Kurt was coming back. Had that kind of sneaky confidence like I knew some inside information that I really didn't know. It was really just a hunch the whole time. I'm as big a Leinart fan there is, but nobody wants to lose an MVP caliber QB. I want Matt to be good so badly that way I can be smug about sticking with him in the rough times. I'm also eager to see if they take the 11+ mil. they don't have to pay Kurt and use it to sign actual people. Cardinals M.O. for for 20+ years, no. Cardinals last 3 years, kinda. So lets hope for the best on that.
Actually, I think thats it. I guess just a few links and out.
I hate Aaron Francisco and that photo is arguably my least favorite picture of all time. That combined with this and it really felt like getting hit from all angles.
This more or less made up for all that. John Lott is seriously the coolest human being alive. I wish so badly I could find a the proper picture for everyone to witness, but it eludes me for now. John Lott is the coolest. Also, Fitz is kinda sweet too. And the very first comment on that page. Im not sure if its sarcasm or not, and I really hope not, but equating chad tracy to Fitz is incredible.
Joey Porter is an awful human being, and would most likley do way more harm than good, but I kinda think it would be enjoyable for one season. I feel like I'd get really upset at him every time he did something terrible, and then laugh cause its Joey Porter in a Cards uniform.
Do I need an excuse to post this video? No, but I actually have one. Antrel Rolle, the man who inspired this blogger's namesake, has been selected to the pro bowl. I feel it is my journalistic duty (yes, thats a massive liberty/leap) to travel to Miami and witness live this truly monumental event. Problem is I hate Florida. Its not my illogical hatred of peninsulas, its the grass. Itchy itchy grass.
I know what you're thinking. Something like this right? "Trelian, what's a hip, cool, jive talkin cat like yourself doing home on a saturday night drinking alone and blogging about the Cardinals?" Well, besides revealing way too much pathetic information necessary to start this post, my response is thus- he/she who has not stayed home on a saturday night drunk and blogging about the Cardinals shall cast the first stone.
/dodges onslaught of stones from each and every reader of this blog.
Ok, clearly that was not the best initial response on my part. How bout a simple "fuck you, don't judge me, you're the one reading this blog anyways. Jokes on you!" Yup, I think thats what were going to go with. So with that out of the way, what say we move past that egregious intro and move into some actual Cardinals news.
On the heals of the Bertrand Berry retirement, the Cards lost another member of last years NFC West Championship team. Today news broke that Cardinals running backs coach, Curtis Modkins, has been hired to be the offensive coordinator for the Buffalo Bills. I got nothing here to be honest. This past year was Modkins one and only with the team and he didn't exactly make enough of an impact for me to talk about much here. When things are going well, and I consider a 10-6 record and first round playoff win a positive, you want continuity amongst your coaching staff but I don't think anyone is going to be lamenting the loss of Modkins. It took rookie running back Beanie Wells 14 weeks to learn how to pass block. Tim Hightower had a fumbling problem all season. To blame all of this on Modkins would be unfair, but fuck it he's leaving, so lets blame him. Wells is going to be a major player in next years team, so lets hope they are able to find a new rb coach who can help him reach his potential.
I just want to go on the record for a minute. Wait, by publishing this one the internet I am accomplishing that and there is no need to announce it. Yup. Ok lets forge ahead past that. I think Kurt is coming back. We linked earlier to his comments in a Rick Reilly article. At first these worried us, but since then we have re-read it a few more times and have a totally new spin on the subject. I'm going to withhold most of the analysis until he actually makes a decision, but I just want to go on the record and state that I believe Warner will be QBing the Cards to another division title next year.
/pours another drink and smokes a cigarette with cocky/semi-coy smile.
//turns on "Jersey Shore" reunion show.
///comes to grips with realty of everything that took place this past hour and slits wrists.
With stories circulating for a few weeks now, it is no surprise that the Cardinals first major off-season news is the retirement of a player. Just not the player we thought it would be. Bertrand Berry has decided to hang up the spikes. From a semi-personal standpoint, this saddens me. B-train was a fan favorite. His post sack celebration was perfection. Self-promoting without crossing the line to egotistical. Berry also was the host of the Cardinals weekly player-driven radio show, The Big Red Rage, a role Berry thrived in.
To interject a personal/sentimental story for a minute: Last year, on the eve of the Cardinals Super Bowl trip Berry hosted what would be the final "rage" of the season. His guest was Adrian Wilson. A-dub gives more meaning to the phrase "speak softly and carry a big stick" than ol' Teddy Roosevelt ever could. Listening to the two of them, Berry at the time an 11 year veteran and Wilson a life long Cardinal who had previously never even sniffed the playoffs, much less the Super Bowl, marvel at what they were about to go play for was the moment when it finally set in for me as a fan. I'd like to say "I'll never forget that moment" but the truth is whiskey/gin has made me forget a lot of things (and unfortunately say a few as well) so instead I'll say "I hope never to forget that moment."
Moving on from the personal and onto the professional- so to speak. The Cards already were in desperate need to upgrade their OLB spot. This only accentuates that. Whether through free agency, the draft, or a combo of both, upgrading the OLB spot is now firmly entrenched as the Cards #1 off season priority.
This one is for our favorite commenter-Reed. We recently went a little hard after Reed and his affection for LOST which was completely unfair. While your recent comments make me wonder if a few Matthew Fox pictures were the best way to regain your affection we simply couldn't do it as he was in that one movie with Matthew McConaughey and that movie fucking sucked, bad. So hopefully this will get us back in your good graces.
I don't have a picture/video to use as a lead in on this. Hell as of current typing I don't even have a title. I'm just gunna throw down a few links with a bit of commentary on each. The leg work of actually reading the articles is on you. Ideally you'll form your own opinions, but if you're not so inclined, mine can certainly be your default.
I fucking hate Rick Reilly. On top of being an awful journalist he is an asshole to boot. Thats right Rick, I know your secret. I know your infatuation for Rocky Mountain meteorologists. So when Rick wrote this piece, declaring Kurt Warner all but retired, I decided to hate him even more. I believe the psychological term for that is "transference" where I take all my anger/sadness/frustration with Kurt walking away a year too soon and put it all on Reilly. Whatever, fuck Reilly and fuck Freud, both are outdated self-severing assholes.
This is Mel Kiper's first first-round mock draft. He has the Cards selecting Dan Williams, a nose tackle out of Tenn. While i do believe this would be a good pick for the Birds, he has OT Bruce Campbell going one pick later. With my lack of faith in the Cards Oline moving forward, it would be hard for me to endorse taking a NT with a quality offensive tackle still on the board. That said, defense should dominate the Cards draft plans so we'll see how this one continues to play out.
Lastly, a little something out of the local college ranks for our Wildcat alums. Sonny Dykes, UAs impressive offensive coordinator is leaving. With defensive coordinator Mark Stoops already having left for greener pastures (get it, cause Tucson is ugly) the Wildcat's are left solely in the hands of this man. Bear down?
And just like that, it was over. I should be more upset than I am, but the truth is I'm pretty ok with how this season turned out. Lets just for a moment take a step back from this season ending loss and reflect.
For the first time since moving to the valley of the sun, our beloved birds won double digit games.
The Cards also hosted-and won- one of the greatest playoff games in the history of the NFL.
At the individual level, the emergence and success of younger players such as Calais Campbell, Early Doucet, and Beanie Wells giving credence to the Cardinals recent draft classes, as well as continued hope for the future.
And then contrastingly there is the old man himself, Kurt Warner. Kurt's performance against the Packers in the wild card round was nothing shy of historic. That game should no doubt be considered the icing on Kurt's hall of fame credentials.
That isn't to say I'm not bummed. Of course I am, and you should be too. Playoff runs have not exactly been commonplace for the Cardinals, and with the possibility of Kurt retiring, there is a level of uncertainty as to when the next one will be. I'm just trying to view this season with a bit of perspective, a perspective that many of you didn't believe I had. People were treating me as though I had just suffered a loss to my family. My favorite illustration of this was a text I received right as the game was ending. "Our thoughts are with you" it read. It's difficult to put into words what this text did to me. Stuck in a state of sadness and inebriation, that text snapped me out of my trance. Instead all I could do was smile, smile and laugh. Since that text I really have spent the majority of my reflection time focused on the positives. So to the Wadsworthian who with one swift text talked me off the ledge and brought me back to the light, you know who you are, and I thank you.
Now, just to be clear, I said I spent the majority of my time reflecting on the positive. Since I devote way too much time during my day thinking about the Cards, even a minority amount of reflection provides me ample hours to single out individuals of which I wish to kill in unusual ways. Lets quickly run through a few names, in no particular order.
Bryant Mcfadden: We shall smother you with honey and set a colony of ants upon you. Then maybe you will learn what it means to cover.
Jerheme Urban: I believe it is AIDS for you. The lesson here, sometimes when you catch something, you can't lose or give it away.
Levi Brown: Seriously, I'm on my hands and knees here, please just get good. No jokes, no murder fantasy, please just get good.
So how was that for a Saints-Cards post game wrap up? Double the murder fantasy to any actual football analysis. Oops. The truth is, the better team won. The Saints were healthier, better prepared and most certainly executed better and that was the difference. A few more thoughts before we sign off for a bit.
To those of you who actually read this blog, whether for actual Cardinals information or simply as a favor to me- thank you. Its been fun for me, hope its fun for you. Obviously the off season will be a little light on posting, heck we might even expand outside the Cards realm a bit, but we'll still be here. This should be a very exciting/interesting off season for Cards fans and the NFL in general and we'll be here with any and all important news. So stick around and keep checking in on us, we'll make it worth your while.
The Combine is just over a month away. We will definitely be keeping a close eye on the combine so keep a close eye on us.
Compliments to commenter Reed. Spits hot fire like Dylan.
Lastly, stay tuned for our LOST preview. Wait a second, that doesn't sound right, I don't watch LOST. Fuck that, stick around for some quality Cards off season chatter as well as a few curve balls here and there. Until then, head over to the hottest blog around. Straight outta L.A. WineandBowties.com.
Last week I linked to a Kissing Suzy Kolber article about the Cardinals as part of their "Haters guide to the post season" series. Today, the tables of hate have turned towards the Saints, this weeks opponent.
While this article lacks the brilliance of lines such as "Get fucked and die lonely", it does provide a fair amount of Katrina based destruction. Enjoy.
[Ed note: Much of this post was published last night 1/14, but we here at Wadsworth felt it was lacking in both analysis/insight and Katrina based humor therefore we have gone back and made some additions and edits.]
Alright, lets do it. Lets do some spade calling. I completely and utterly dropped the ball on any and all Cards-Packers post game blogging. I know that was not pleasing to a clamoring fan base, but honestly, what the hell was I supposed to say about that game? You all saw it! I've had to watch the highlight package about 300 times just to remember actual plays. All I remember was a series of non life-threatening heart attacks (luckily), way too many high-fives without any hand sanitizer in sight (not as lucky), and an emotional state bouncing between joy, confusion, heartache, and then back to confusion. So with that pseudo apology behind us, lets look at the tale of the tape. Saints v. Cardinals, but arguably as important, New Orleans v. Arizona.
In one corner we have rap sensation Lil Wayne. In the other Phoenix's own Willy Northpole.
Ok, the last one was a stretch and the first one isn't really a debate, but 3 out of 5 isn't too bad. Well, upon second thought, Levi and the levees might be a draw. So with AZ vs N.O coming in at an evenly matched 2-2-1 lets move past this exercise in futility and onto the game breakdown.
The Saints, much like the Packers last week, boast an incredible arial attack. Drew Brees was the MVP runner-up while leading his team to an NFL high in points scored. Stopping him is not realistic. Slowing him down will be difficult, but it is possible. Despite giving up 45 points last week, the Cards defense does possess the necessary tools to slow down the Saints high powered attack. Heres how...
All the usual suspects will have to play big. Dock has to play up to his dominating potential. Calais Campbell will have a much bigger role as he continues to come back from his thumb injury. With pressuring Brees being such an important key to the game, CC's return to action is both vital and encouraging. A-dub will be asked to play a very complete game. A-dub will need to provide an edge rush in the blitzing game, while also keeping a watchful eye on the middle of the field with guys like Reggie Bush and Jeremy Shockey looking to exploit that area. Jeremy Shockey worries me. When he's not passing out poolside, Shockey is as dangerous a TE as there is in the league. A player as big, fast, and talented as Shockey would scare any defense, but he is especially troublesome for the Cardinals who up to this point have still never actually guarded a TE. The other major defensive concern (aside from the whole Drew Brees being insanely good thing) is the Saints screen game. The Saints this season have been a tremendous screen team. Reggie Bush, while awful in almost every other facet of the game, is very dangerous in the open field. The Cards are not a team who defends the screen well. Cardinal defenders are often overaggressive and easily baited out of their lanes which opens up a lot of room for the screen game. Look for this early and often from the Saints, especially if the Cards pass rush is proving effective. Thats all fine and good, but it won't be the defensive stars who determine this game. The key to slowing down the Saints offense lie in the collective hands of the three men who play OLB for the birds. Clark Haggans, Chike Okeafor, and most importantly (as I see it) Bertrand Berry will be the difference makers for the Cards. Bert already got off to a hot start racking up 2 sacks against the Packers. While he is a definite liability in the run game, Berry still possesses the quickness to wreck havoc in the passing game. Look for Berry to double his playoff sack total with Haggans and Okeafor grabbing 1 each themselves.
Offensively, the game plan is the same week in and week out. No changes here. First and foremost, protect Kurt allowing him to get the ball to the playmakers. Next, minimize penalties. These both can be difficult when playing on the road, especially at a place as wild and loud as the Superdome. This factor cannot be overlooked. The Superdome, and its fans must be considered the x-factor for the Saints. Crowd noise can have an incredible impact on every aspect of the game. False start penalties, an inability to audible, and protection breakdowns are all things to keep an eye on. Ideally speaking, the Cards will jump out to a big lead and take the crowd out of it. Obviously, with that being easier said than done, the solution to the crowd problem might be the Cards x-factor. Feed the fucking Bean! The Saints run defense is suspect at best. As long as they don't fall far behind early, they should be able to control the clock and the flow with the run game.
A few more notes before prediction time.
Despite his optimism, it looks like Q is going to miss his second straight game. Early and Steve proved they can step up in the big game. I am a bit concerned about Doucet early on (no pun intended, i swear). Early is from Louisiana and is going to have a lot of family at the game. As if a playoff game wasn't enough reason for jitters, playing in front of 50ish family members will most certainly add to that.
Gerald Hayes too looks like he will be out for tomorrows affair. Monte Beisel is a capable replacement. Not quite as physically imposing, but a smart player who generally finds himself around the ball.
Neil Rackers is saying all the right things. It is quite conceivable the game (again) could come down to a Rackers field goal. Lets all hope he can respond to a disaster better than FEMA. BOOM, SMOKED! Yup, thats the terrible joke this entire blog has been setting up. And with that, its Prediction time..
Gotta ride the hot hand hometown heros (heck ya alliteration). Cards continue on with a final score 38-31.
Right now you, faithful Wadsworthians (trying that one on for size), are likely asking yourselves two questions. 1) Why the Brian Dawkins video clip and 2) is that title inspired/borrowed from a Jonas Brothers album? The answer to the first question can be answered with another question. Did you watch the video? Aside from its message-there is no guarantee of tomorrow in playoff football- being totally applicable to todays Cards game, that shit got me fired up! The answer to the second question is yes, I found inspiration from a Disney created pop brothers trio. As always though, there is a method to my madness, or if I may take the liberty, a method to my logic. On to the breakdown.
Alright, lets just hit this up in order. How many of you picked up on the rinds/cheese/packers connection? I'll pat myself on the back for that one later. For now when looking across the field at todays opponent, I don't like what I see. The Packers are skilled, smart, and playing about as well as anyone else in the league. With all the league hullabaloo focused on the Colts and Saints bid for a perfect season, the Packers hot finish seemed to slip through the cracks. The Pack won 7 of their last 8 with their only loss coming off a last second TD against the Steelers. I already linked that video once before in a previous post so feel free to scroll down and watch that, but I can't put myself through those flashbacks again. You might be stronger souls than I so watch at your own risk, but I cant do it.
Signs: Sometimes, despite almost all signs pointing in one direction, the outcome is exactly the opposite. This is most certainly true in our everyday lives and as Cards fans we better hope it holds true today. All signs point to a Packers win. As previously mentioned, they're playing exceptional football. They've dominated the two previous-albeit meaningless- contests this season and most importantly, they matchup extremely well against our beloved birds. Their strength on offense is their exceptional passing game. Our defensive weakness is our pass coverage. They have an exceptional CB in Charles Woodson who can matchup with Fitz, and boast an impressive pass rush to go against our shaky offensive line. Sounds as if I'm preparing you all for some "trying times" doesn't it? Not so fast. Lets take a look at how the Cardinals are going to get a big win today.
Ok so ya, I copped out on the "trying times" part of this title analogy thing that we had going here. We'll try and work it back in again but for now remove those judgmental eyes off me and lets illustrate a Cardinals win. For much of the first half of the season, the Packers greatly struggled with their pass protection. While they were able to straighten this out during their hot streak, the Cards must find a way to get pressure on Aaron Rodgers. More specifically they must find a way to do this when not blitzing. Darnell Dockett might be the most important player in todays game. If Dock can put forth a Super Bowl type performance, the Cards can drop more players in coverage closing down some of Rodgers throwing windows. Also, to quote another member of the Wadsworth brains trust "I want A-dub coming off that blindside so hard not even Sandra Bullock can stop him." As simple as it sounds, thats it. Effective defensive pressure will be the key to this game. On the offensive side it all starts up front. When the line protects Kurt and gives him time, he makes the defense pay. It is vital to get him in rhythm early. Once Kurt gets going, the offensive possibilities are endless (you have to scroll down a bit). Also a quick mention of the special teams. Mason Crosby, the Packers kicker, has struggled this season. Cardinals special teams have been nearly flawless all year. It is absolutely essential that the Cards win the special teams battle, both field goals and field position.
A few more notes: First, it doesn't appear Q is going to be able to play. No official word yet, but he didn't practice at all this week. That hurts but this team has won without Q in the past, including a playoff game last year, and thats just what they will have to do today. Lastly, its prediction time. I said before and I'll say it again. Sometimes all signs point one way but the outcome turns out another. Thats why today's result will prove to be "trying times" for Packers fans (weak, i know). Finals score 34-31 Cards. See you in New Orleans.
Lastly, a little bit of Trelian Logic to close this out...
The gentlemen over at Kissing Suzy Kolber have been running a preview of sorts for every playoff team in preparation for wild card weekend. Today's target was our beloved Arizona Cardinals. Maybe Will Leitch and I can team up and write the rebuttal.
Seriously though, is there anything more awesomely hateful then telling someone to "Get fucked and die lonely." The KSK piece truly is a must read.
To best illustrate this venomous post my original intention was to find a picture of an overweight packers fan. I mean how hard can that be. The Packers reside in Wisconsin, people from Wisconsin are fat, ergo packers fans are fat. When I googled "fat packers fans" I came across this video (as well as countless pics of fat packers fans for the record). I don't know how to feel after watching this video. My initial reaction was to take the high road and call these kids immature and somehow spin that into packer hating. Then I started laughing. Then I watched the video about 10 more times and laughed each time. So now I find myself sadly seated on the same intellectual plane as packers fans. Not exactly my original intent. That said, at least Im not fat so suck on that deep fried cheese ball packers fans. Ed note: for reasons only very few will understand, I will refrain from degrading miller light beer.
Sunday's Cards-Packers rematch marks the 3rd time this season these two teams will play with both previous meetings (one preseason, one regular season) going the Packers way. Full disclosure, I was out of town for the new year holiday and did not see any of last weeks game. I do know however the cards walked away with some serious injury concerns and *potentially* the perfect motivational tool. More on the injuries in a bit but lets talk motivation for a minute. While I personally believe the "nobody believes/respects us" card is both overused and idiotic, it somehow seems to inspire these athletes and the Cards are no exception. They hopped on the "us against the world" train and road it all the way to through the playoffs last year. It most certainly does not guarantee a victory, but its quite conceivable the Cards will use this same source of motivation allowing them to put forth their best effort.
The injury concern is very real and very, well, concerning. By all accounts DRC is going to play. It is however hard to imagine he will be at 100%. With the Packers boasting an impressive arial attack, DRC's health and ability to shut down one side of the field is vital the the birds success on sunday. The status for both Quan and Calais are far more uncertain. ESPN is reporting Q is unlikely to play. Our inside sources say just the opposite (note, we here at wadsworth most certainly do not have inside sources, what we do have is opinion, take it or leave it). Seriously though, we're talking about Anquan Boldin. I fully acknowledge that was not exactly the greatest analysis but I just refuse believe Q is sitting out of a playoff game until I see it. Lastly Calais Campbell and his fractured thumb. Calais already had surgery on it, and is hopeful he can play with a cast. I too am confident Campbell will play and it is important that he does. With the aforementioned Packer passing attack, blitzing is difficult to do. That means generating pressure from your front 4 is that much more important and Calais is one of the best pass rushers on the team. It will be interesting too see how a cast will effect CC's ability to get off blocks when rushing the passer and tackling ball carriers.
Later this week we will give our more in depth game preview with our keys to the game and prediction of the outcome. Much of that will be determined by the three injuries mentioned above. A few quick overdue notes to close this out.
